I don't even know where to start...

Why is it the older I get the more I realize how truly messed up human nature is?

Case in point. My neighbor was killed in a car crash on Halloween. 18 year old female. Extremely tragic incident. She was going over 100 in a Porche after getting into a fight with her parents. I was informed today that pictures of her accident, the car and her, seeped out to the World Wide Web. One of the CHP officers, apparently, took the pictures claiming they were of the crime scene. The CHP officer gave to pictures to a friend, who is guilty of spreading the pictures. The pictures are now everywhere and can be easily accessible if you search. I have NO desire to search from them. A neighbor girl became curious, looked at them and is now seeking counseling. Another woman saw them and almost vomited. They are extremely graphic as the young girl's skull was completely crushed and her hair was missing.

The family, in their most serious time of grief, are now having to deal with hate emails being sent to them, and are being accused of "deserving it" for "giving their daughter a Porsche." When in reality the Porsche was not hers and her excessive speed was due to a fight. The family is also having to deal with closing down the sights which display the pictures, costing them upwards of $250,000.

When I heard this today, I was sickened. Sickened that people could be so heartless, cruel, vulgar and malicious. Sickened that I too have either read of someone's trials, seen pictures of a gruesome image or heard of an individuals plight and have reacted coldly. I am in awe that people could have such blinders on, to not either put themselves in someone else's shoes, other than that of their own.

It reminded me of when my roommate was in her accident. There was a man standing on the corner taking pictures with a camera. It was 1:30 in the morning on PCH. He was the only thing that I could focus on. All my anger I was experiencing from what had just happened funneled into him. I cursed him and told him to "put away his f*&^ing camera." I was livid. I can remember seeing red and thinking that if only the cops weren't there what I would do to him. I wanted to punch him in the face. In is voyeuristic, sad, old face. My boyfriend held me back. He knows I have remarkable self control, but was also aware that I had just experience the most traumatic incident known to date.

After I passed being angry, I was confused. Why was he taking pictures? Did he think we were someone famous? Did he want to look at these pictures later? Did he think he was being helpful for an investigation later? What were his motives? Similar to the CHP who passed around the car accident pictures. Why? Boasting rights? Curiosity? Sadness? Sympathy?

Also, in all of it's perks, how destructive is the Internet? Spreading pictures of someones tragedies for others to view and remark, "I'm glad that's not me." How trite. How childish. How pathetic that we derive our self-satisfaction from the devastation of others. How we could compare our happiness to that of others remorse. Sure we can chat with loved ones, get ahead in our job and view all the items that we don't possess and really need. But, deep down, I wish we were back to the days of individuality. Every man is a island times. Sure I wouldn't be able to talk about myself on a daily basis and have it be "okay." But I would give my left arm if it meant my neighbors didn't have to experience what they are.

Back to the days, when we had to write letters, make phone calls, hear each others voices, leave voice messages at someones house *gasp*. Things may have been a lot more complicated, a lot less instantaneous, but at least things that were meant to remain in the darkest confines of our imagination stayed there.