Here's your topic. Talk amongst yourselves.
This is a conversation that took place between me and a co-worker. I have had this conversation with many a male friend of mine and always either walk away with the same reaction, the same debate, the same confusion. If anyone can explain to me another aspect of the male psyche I would very much appreciate it.
North Carolina says: Thats what im saying, act yourself and you will standout in a goodway, but just remember that scares alot of guys, that a woman can havea brain, and have an opinion and voice it too.
Wanton Hussy says: well then i dont want those guys anyway
Wanton Hussy says:because i will always be like this
Wanton Hussy says:its weird but I have started to meet guys that say they like mebecause i am really "strong" and smart and all those things..
Wanton Hussy says:so at least I know that they are out there
Wanton Hussy says:but yeah there will always be those guys are that intimidated by awoman with a brain and can go for the typical OC bimbo
North Carolina says:....because they dont know how to handle an "equal"
Wanton Hussy says:exactly
North Carolina says:To tell you the truth... I would be scared shitless to meet you inpublic and get the balls to come up to you.
Wanton Hussy says:why?
Wanton Hussy says:is it cause I am loud or boisterous or slighly outspoken
or tall?
Wanton Hussy says:i attempt to appear smiley and approachable but seldom am approached
Wanton Hussy says:which is probably why i go up and tlak to so many guys because i knowthey wont come up to me
North Carolina says:One word. fear of rejection
Wanton Hussy says:one word
Wanton Hussy says:LAME
North Carolina says:I know but its true
Wanton Hussy says:good thing i have no fear of rejection
Wanton Hussy says:and 2) how many times are girls really going to tell you to get lost to your fac
Wanton Hussy says:*face
North Carolina says:That swhy most guys go for the easy way out
Wanton Hussy says:letting the girl approach
Wanton Hussy says:but that's not our job
Wanton Hussy says: what ever happened to hunting and chasing
North Carolina says: No the typical OC girl
Wanton Hussy says:whats the easy way out?
North Carolina says:Going for the easy kill....
Wanton Hussy says:ohhh...
Wanton Hussy says:that makes sense.
Wanton Hussy says:no seriously it does. all sarcasm aside
North Carolina says:An un-equal
Wanton Hussy says:ahh....
Wanton Hussy says:i see says the blind man to the deaf boy
Wanton Hussy says:Bueler?
Wanton Hussy says:Bueler?
North Carolina says:Im here
Wanton Hussy says:i guess i just like it when you explain men better to me and amwanting more info
Wanton Hussy says:teach me North Carolina
Wanton Hussy says:all i know is that they are way more simpler than women think
North Carolina says:its as plain as that. all guys want the smart as hell career woman ,but they dont want to get hurt in the process
Wanton Hussy says:by the way this conversation IS going to be a blog
North Carolina says:Thats fine.
Wanton Hussy says:i'll change your name as to protect you identity so that men dont rally against you for your spilling of secrets but honestly you didnt tell me anything i didnt already know
Wanton Hussy says:so i THINK you're safe
North Carolina says:Hey if it will help them get off there ass... good
posted by Wanton Hussy @ 7:14 PM
12 Comments:
That is a fair review of that particular dynamic of our ape brotherhood. He didn't show you the hand shake, right...? This commentary raises an interesting point. Dr. Hussy, for someone who prides themselves on being above gender norms, sounds like you don't mind being a Jane every now and again. Please see supporting evidence.
Wanton Hussy says:letting the girl approach
Wanton Hussy says:but that's not our job
Wanton Hussy says: what ever happened to hunting and chasing
Just an observation.
Here's what I have realized. I would LOVE to be approached, asked for my number, taken out on a date, had the door opened, treated like a lady, etc. But as I have been raised by not one, but TWO parents that have started their own small businesses, I have been behaviorally modified that if you want something done you have to do it yourself.
I don't MIND initiating conversation with an individual or offering up my phone number, but one can only be on the offensive side before they start wondering why they aren't before pursued occasionally.
Although I am a woman of the times and the trends, I still yearn for the stories my mom would tell me growing up of the perks of dating. The dinners, the movies, the walks, etc.
I know those are a thing of the past, which is why I have become accomodating to the modus operandi of today's eligible bachelor.
But I am glad you are paying attention and not letting me slide. Continue to do so and I will continue to explain myself to the best of my ability.
Oh and I know all about your dirty little handshake. Even the jig at the end. I even added a part that you should be receiving a memo regarding very shortly. It involves the "thumbs up" and screaming like a banchee. I think you will find it quite satisfactory.
Sure, we fear rejection a bit (or a lot). That's normal. Especially if you're with a group of other chicks. Trying to break through that cockblock is just not worth the effort.
I've had friends who didn't care, and got laid every weekend. It could be the 45th girl they approached. Eventually, after throwing enough shit, the shit stuck.
Also, I was also a "bars are for drinking" person. I'm out with my friends, not to try to hit on random people.
Any bar action (a date, a number exchange, a quick fuck) that ever happened with me, was initiated by the girl.
Another thing: painfully shy. But when I'm with my friends you wouldn't know that. If you're watching me from across the bar, you're seeing me laugh, smile, crack jokes, gesticulate wildly... you're thinking "hey, there's a good looking guy, having lots of fun." I'm very comfortable around people I already know, or at least have been introduced to. If I was just out for a beer and burger after class (or work), I'd just sit there, eat, and watch the ESPN on the teevee. Looking like a loner drunk.
You're right about one thing: you don't want to date the people who are afraid of strong women anyway. Hell, I need a strong woman, or I get lazy. My wife and I are always challenging each other. Her motto is "Oh yeah? Watch this!"
I disagree ca111a. In fact, I know of an "anonymous" individual right now that is persuing, ie. hunt and chasing, the Wanton Hussy, while enjoying my competence in a male dominated field. I am merely arguing that chivalry appears to be dead for the most part, not entirely. I was raised under the notion that if a suitor is interested then he will pursue and find this idealistic notion refreshing. However, have been behaviorally modified to accept that in today's society, men, for whatever reason, are more complacent with the idea of a female persuing what she desires.
I also have to agree with Angelos. I went to bars to drink and not to pick up girls. It was usually too loud and if I got my nerve up, I usually said something stupid and the insuing conversation had a lot of "What?"'s in it and got old, fast.
I've also had the friends that scored every weekend just due to the sheer volume of attempts. That was definitely not me.
And if a guy is afraid of a strong woman, then he's not worth the price of a good, used dog. Personally, I married my wife because of her strength. She keeps me centered.
By the way, how tall are you? 20 years ago when I was in the "scene" there were no tall women. Just trying to figure out when that happened.
When reading your latest blog, something struck me about what was said. Everyone who has responded has valid points, and for the most part, are correct in saying what they did.
Something Ms. Wanton Hussy had mentioned made me want to respond to her "wanting to know the psyche" of the male population. So here go...
You mentioned something along the lines of why more men won't "chase and hunt" after women these days. Speaking on my behalf, I find that when ever crossed with that moment when there is that "potential" of a woman to try and talk to, sometimes we, as men, feel that maybe this woman has been hit on one too many times, and we, or I, just don't want to be just another one of those guys trying to impress the opposite gender; All too well knowing that rejection is just an ear shot away. So rather than try to start a conversation, I tend to tell myself that this woman might see me as another one of those guys and instead of facing rejection, lately it's been easier to walk away and not ever know what the possibilities of meeting a really intelligent, down to earth girl, might have been. Besides, nowadays, it seems like you have to lie your ass off just to impress someone, and I'm not one to speak highly of myself. The humble approach is always the most impressive to me.
Continuing on, you, women, can be very judgmental and hard to approach. It's like we have to find something really clever to say just to get things going in the right direction. And if that doesn't work, nor the outfit that we're wearing doesn't impress you, where do we go from there? Do we then just give in and do the expected, "Hey, can I buy you a drink?"
Where did that come from, and tell me where I can find that guy who started that so I can kick his ass!!! What happened to the ole' times where just sitting and getting to know someone was all it took? Call me ole' fashion, but I'm bringin' it back.
Maynone--
I am a whopping 5' 11". With heels, I always wear heels, I am well over 6'. I have also rationalized that my mere height could be intimidating to others. Tart refers to me as an "Amazonian of a Woman" and also cheap, but that's another story.
Height for me is one of those things that I used to try to down play, like all those girls that hunch over in disgust of their size. Not me. My days of longing to be shorter than the guys and girls around me are over. Now I walk tall and proud. I wear mascara to make my already large eyes bigger and heels to make my already surprising height, delightful.
That's the right attitude, WH.
I've dated amazons and waifs. All good, as long as you have a self-confident, sexy attitude. And even at 6', I've been towered over by a former 6'2" girl, when she wore heels. Turned me right the fuck on.
One of my employees started with my when she was 16. She's rather, um, well-endowed, and she used to sit all hunched over in baggy t-shirts, until my fiancee at the time told her to knock it off. Sit tall, stand tall. It's not about flaunting, it's about posture and confidence. It projects so much better.
Two other women I dated, a couple years apart, had zero tits. And I mean nothing. My pecs are bigger. One figured, oh well, I make up for it with my ass and legs. The other wore a t-shirt to bed, and would leave it on during sex if I had let her. Hmmm, which one was "sexier?"
Where did you go?
Hope all is well. I'm getting the DT's without my morning fix...
I know I've been MIA. Few things in mind I can talk about. Been busy. Internets not working at home. Life. Stay tuned... More to come.
OK.
Just wanted to let you know we are paying attention!
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