And the Plot Thickens...
Enter Stage Left: Two girls traveling through Europe for three months.
Stop Mid Stage: Two girls stay in apartment complex with ten other Americans all studying to be teachers. Embark on month long activities, which can only be compared to the college experience neither girl ever had.
Travel to Barcelona: Girl #1. Overwhelmed with new people, job and freedom loses complete sight of what trip began as and what it was to allegedly end as. Proceeds to break up with boyfriend, under the notion that she would not be returning to her home city, county, state, country for as long as she could make possible, or at least a year. Enter really angry parents, boyfriend, boyfriend’s parents, extras. Many a conversations spent in room with Girl #3 roommate realizing that Girl #1 has never been allowed to make wise, poor, neutral decisions on her own and that this is just the reaction to said realization.
Girl #2. Remains completely level headed. Remembering who she is, what she wants, proceeds to get a job as a teacher, as originally planned. Whose parents are encouraging to not return home, but rather to continue to teach abroad, perhaps Japan, Thailand, Korea, etc.
Girl #1. Telephones best friend from home, the one person who will never judge her and who she knows she could never shock but rather sadden with the thought of no return.
Best Friend #1. “Umm… there is something I have to tell you even though he (U.S. Boyfriend #1) swore me to secrecy.”
Girl #1. “He bought that ticket to come out to Barcelona.”
Best Friend #1. “Yep.”
Girl #1. “EXPLICITIVE!”
Girl #1. Intend to build up ideas and notions of what she wants, could want, doesn’t want over the week long period of knowing that said individual intends to fly to Barcelona to remind, save, harass, kiss, speak to, see, Girl #1.
Girl #1 picks up US Boyfriend #1 from Airport and spend a full week of talking, sightseeing, lounging, talking, discussing, eating, wining, dining, shopping, etc.
U.S. Boyfriend exits stage right.
Shot of clouds parting.
Girl #1. Pan shot of bedroom and Girl #1 opening eyes.
*She is again level headed, past self-deprecating behavior, making amends with parents, grandparents, boyfriend, boyfriend’s parents, friends, dog, etc. Realizing what is, isn‘t, will never be and has always been important in her life. Enter difficult life lesson escaped unscathed.*
posted by Wanton Hussy @ 6:25 AM
5 Comments:
In the words of Bill Shakespeare:
"To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man".
As I've gotten older I realize that some things important to me are just not as relevant today as yesterday.
Wants, needs, desires all change. Situations change. I found that I was confusing the future with the present. I can't do something "today" as it will affect "The Grand Plan".
A 'fer instance was the plan to be a Test Pilot. The whole scholastic career was based on that goal. Then my eyes started crapping out. Not in the plan. Many months of wailng and gnashing of teeth later, I realized it wasn't the end of the world. Everyone who was so "proud" of what I was going to do was going to have to bite it, like me and get over it. 20 years later, it's been pretty good.
You have made great strides in stepping out into the world. I am proud of your accomplishments during this trip. It's a huge learning experience that will serve you well in the future.
Whether you stay in Europe or go back to California, please do it for you and not because you feel obligated to someone else.
As for the boyfriend buying a ticket to Barcelona. Big Thumbs up to him. Shows comittment and desire. At least you know where he stands (but go back and read the last paragraph).
You gotta give the folks some more detail than that lady. Seriously though, I am very proud of you.
I have made amends with those involved, but also myself. I definitely lost myself amidst the "honeymoon stage" of culture shock. I have made amends not under the theory that "they won" or "I won" but through the notion that I really want to come home, for everyone involved.
Because Barcelona definitely feels like a home for me, but it will never be my home. It is someones home, as their family, friends and life are here. But not mine.
It's science.
While there is truth in your words about maturity, I think it's wisdom that is more important. And wisdom needs experience. Parents' advice is not necessarily better ("better" and "good" are vague), but it's usually safer. Your opinion of Barcelona is based on a very short period of time, probably during a really pleasant time of year, adding to that are the facts of economical rebound and prosperity in the area, all the interesting people you met, new food, European architecture, art, different mentality, etc. Over time many of those things would lose their freshness, some would become annoying, you would learn about unpleasant sides of life there, etc. And after all you would possibly want to come back. Of course it would've been your own decision, but you would've spent so much time and money, and some things would've been lost forever. Parents usually do not care to *win*, they just don't want you to lose.
So Girl #1 was gagging for a shag, is that it? :)
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