My Successful Attempt at Neighborhood Watch

At approximately 19:30 tonight I got took my dog for a walk so that she may "do her business." I have gotten in a really good habit of always bringing a doggie bag, as opposed to my usual procrastination to the picking up of dog excrement. After upholding my civic duty of excrement removal, I throw away the bag in the nearest trash receptacle and entered my car, with the intent of leaving my neighborhood. It was then that I noticed a giant pitbull was being walked by his female owner, who was wearing a pink t-shirt, black bike shorts, a FANNY PACK, and was smoking. I noticed the owner allow her dog to shit on the lawn to the tri-plex where I live. I have noticed this dog's shit before as they are GINORMOUS. Okay I know this is getting off-color, but as always, I have a point.

After her dog relieved himself, on the lawn to the tri-plex in which I proudly rent, the lawn where three little girls play and run and throw water balloons, I notice her turn to leave "the scene of the crime." Here it is. Here are those books I loved as a kid.

You witness the lady turn to walk away without cleaning up her dog's shit. If you say something politely, turn to page 36. If you ignore it altogether and drive away, turn to page 89. If you say something rudely, turn to page 16.

I turned to page 36, because you catch more flies, blah, blah, blah. I roll down my window and say very sincerely, no sarcasm, "Do you need a bag?" Her response, "Oh, yeah. Do you have one?" It's a good thing that I knew I had one, otherwise I would have looked like a total jackass with her calling my bluff.

"Yeah, I have an extra one." I reply. "Oh thanks. I just ran out." She admits. Of course you did, sweetheart. Didn't we all. Didn't we all.